The absurdity of paternity leave


I am pregnant. For all sorts of reasons we have decided that – all being well – I will take 4-5 months maternity leave, and my partner will take 3 months unpaid leave to follow on from that. This will provide our future child with 7-8 months of full time parental care before we start to partially outsource things.

When we told my partner’s mum about this plan she asked me: “only 4 months? Our daughter took 9 months off work to care for her baby” then turned to my boyfriend to say: “what is your employer going to think if you take 3 months off work?”

Well, what does she think my employer is going to think if I take 9 months off?

DOH – stupid me – of course it is my responsibility – and mine alone – to sacrifice my work for my child – #MFIF!

Trying-to-be-pregnant-together, London, UK

PS my partner was awesome! He told his mum that 4 months plus 3 months equals 7 months – which is almost 9. Brave man!


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4 Responses to “The absurdity of paternity leave”

  1. jesurgislac Says:

    Good on your partner. And good for you.

  2. clarisinda Says:

    Good for you and your partner. I wish more people – especially women – thought the way you do.

  3. soisaystoher Says:

    Thanks for sharing this. I’m pregnant at the minute and am just realising for the first time how the whole system is set up to affirm the traditional roles – to offer men 2 weeks of leave, on only statutory pay (if they’re lucky) is clearly saying 1. your role in the home is not that important 2. your role in the workplace is way more important than a woman’s

    grrrrr. but it takes more people like us to push the boundaries before anything will change. let’s hope Nick Clegg’s recent announcement gets off the ground eventually.

  4. hildeG Says:

    This is a complicated question. In Scandinavia, moms and dads have equal rights to paid leave at the birth of a child , but of course mostly moms end up staying at home for the duration. (one year in all) Leaving us with one of the most gender-segregated workforces in the world.

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