Halloween: not a good time to be a feminist

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Halloween is for men, I forgot…

My roommates and I had an interesting Halloween weekend…it is one of those times of year that makes me realize how much of a feminist I really am. The women in my college town (and many other places for that matter) use Halloween for the “one weekend where a girl can dress like a slut and get away with it.” Really? What exactly are you “getting away with?” Combine this is alcohol and it all turns into an even bigger mess than most weekends. (And just a note, not one of the roommates was dressed in what one would consider a stereotypically “slutty” way. We were costumed, yes, but everyone was fully clothed, we could have gone to an elementary school Halloween party and not been inappropriate).

Scenario 1: Roommate goes to a party with a guy she’s been hanging out with because they really seem to click and she enjoys spending time with him. Long story short, she stays at his place, only kissing happens. In the morning, the guy proceeds to say , “now I don’t have to flirt with you anymore.” Oh, really? Just because she kissed you means that she is yours and now you don’t have to make an effort anymore? Oh, that’s right; I forgot that as soon as a woman shows some interest, that all she is really doing is boosting your ego. How she perceives you really doesn’t matter because now you “have her.” A little later, guy laughs and says , “I tried to get you naked several times last night, I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not that sorry.” Translation: I realize that I tried go further than you wanted to because you kept stopping me, I realize that I made you uncomfortable and I could apologize for it, but I’m really not sorry. Guess roommate should have realized, #HFSF.

Scenario 2: Roommate’s costume was a Spanish matador, complete with slicked back hair and a fake tattoo mustache. It was awesome, she looked fabulous. Guys, however, were confused. They told her, “Oh, you look great…” but in a way that completely gave away how confused they were. Guys, were you confused because roommate chose not to show a ton of skin and engaged in a “gender-bender” costume that you don’t understand? I know why you were confused. You think that Halloween is for you and women are supposed to dress slutty for your pleasure. If they don’t, you are legitimately confused as to why they would choose not to do so. Silly roommate, don’t you know Halloween is really for the pleasure of men and that you are supposed to make sure you show off your body and evoke your feminine, anti-masculine self for them? #HFSF.

After debriefing the weekend, we can’t imagine the kind of nights that the girls who chose to dress how patriarchy demanded had…hope they made it through the weekend unscathed.

Fem Phil, OR

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5 Responses to “Halloween: not a good time to be a feminist”

  1. sitakali Says:

    I understand the frustration. I do wish that people wouldn’t assume that women who show some skin or show off thier bodies are dressing “as the patriarchy demands.” Women should be able to dress however the hell they want to without being judged. They should be able to walk around naked without being judged.

  2. popesuburban Says:

    This. This this this. The whole notion that any woman in a revealing costume is doing it because men demand it is quite probably what they’re talking about when they say they can “get away with” dressing that way. It’s the one night where they hope/feel/think they will not be raked over the coals for flaunting norms and being provocative. I know some women will do it to make men happy, but I’m just not comfortable with deciding that all of them do. I know I never have– I wear risque Halloween costumes because they are so different from my everyday attire, and I think that’s fun! I don’t much care what any man or woman thinks of that, because it’s fun as hell to get dressed up and do something different.

  3. corridor7f Says:

    A guy that cannot understand a woman being uncomfortable in a sexual scenario is rather unsettling.

    I suppose he just thought she was teasing him. :/

  4. adev0tchka Says:

    “The women in my college town (and many other places for that matter) use Halloween for the ‘one weekend where a girl can dress like a slut and get away with it.'”

    THANK YOU for saying this. I’ve been hearing this from my girlfriends for years, and I always hated it when they said it.

    Also, I hope your friend decided to use her better judgment and not continue seeing that creep. It makes me so mad that he didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with his behavior–that it just seems to be a game for him. Grow up, braw.

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