Archive for November, 2010

Small and proud

November 13, 2010

I recently went wedding dress shopping. I tried one of the cheaper dress stores, hoping to avoid spending major money.

Now, I should mention something: I have itty bitty breasts. I’m OK with that. In my entire life I’ve only purchased one bra because I just can’t find them in my size. Granted I don’t shop much, as I’ve been laughed at three times by bra sales employees in my life for mentioning my size. Anyway….

So I try on dresses. It seemed like the standard breast size for this store in my dress size was a D. This makes sense I figure, since it’s easier to take away material than add it, right? So I ask them about it, because it is so much material that needed to be removed.

The saleslady told me to stuff the dress. I let her know I’m not willing to do that. I’m tiny. That’s the way I am. I don’t want to pretend I’m something I’m not. But, she insists. So I tell her again I’m not interested. I want the dress to be flattened to me. We go back and forth in this, and I’m just confused why this saleslady is arguing with me over what I want and am willing to pay for. Finally, she says OK, and looks for more dresses.

Once I find a cute one though, the argument begins again. She tries to convince me to stuff the dress, get a push up with padding, everything and anything to make me appear larger breasted. She offers to include some padding for free with the dress. She just can’t understand I want to appear how I am: small.

Needless to say, I didn’t buy a dress from her. Heaven forbid I have small breasts and am damn proud of it and refuse to go larger. MFIF.

Steph, USA

Halloween: not a good time to be a boy dressed like a girl

November 13, 2010

His fault he is male!

A little boy dressing up as a female for Halloween? NOT OK it seems. While sexy costumes and male costumes for girls are ok, wanting to look female for a day seems ridiculous for a boy.

DP

Halloween: not a good time to be a feminist

November 13, 2010

Halloween is for men, I forgot…

My roommates and I had an interesting Halloween weekend…it is one of those times of year that makes me realize how much of a feminist I really am. The women in my college town (and many other places for that matter) use Halloween for the “one weekend where a girl can dress like a slut and get away with it.” Really? What exactly are you “getting away with?” Combine this is alcohol and it all turns into an even bigger mess than most weekends. (And just a note, not one of the roommates was dressed in what one would consider a stereotypically “slutty” way. We were costumed, yes, but everyone was fully clothed, we could have gone to an elementary school Halloween party and not been inappropriate).

Scenario 1: Roommate goes to a party with a guy she’s been hanging out with because they really seem to click and she enjoys spending time with him. Long story short, she stays at his place, only kissing happens. In the morning, the guy proceeds to say , “now I don’t have to flirt with you anymore.” Oh, really? Just because she kissed you means that she is yours and now you don’t have to make an effort anymore? Oh, that’s right; I forgot that as soon as a woman shows some interest, that all she is really doing is boosting your ego. How she perceives you really doesn’t matter because now you “have her.” A little later, guy laughs and says , “I tried to get you naked several times last night, I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not that sorry.” Translation: I realize that I tried go further than you wanted to because you kept stopping me, I realize that I made you uncomfortable and I could apologize for it, but I’m really not sorry. Guess roommate should have realized, #HFSF.

Scenario 2: Roommate’s costume was a Spanish matador, complete with slicked back hair and a fake tattoo mustache. It was awesome, she looked fabulous. Guys, however, were confused. They told her, “Oh, you look great…” but in a way that completely gave away how confused they were. Guys, were you confused because roommate chose not to show a ton of skin and engaged in a “gender-bender” costume that you don’t understand? I know why you were confused. You think that Halloween is for you and women are supposed to dress slutty for your pleasure. If they don’t, you are legitimately confused as to why they would choose not to do so. Silly roommate, don’t you know Halloween is really for the pleasure of men and that you are supposed to make sure you show off your body and evoke your feminine, anti-masculine self for them? #HFSF.

After debriefing the weekend, we can’t imagine the kind of nights that the girls who chose to dress how patriarchy demanded had…hope they made it through the weekend unscathed.

Fem Phil, OR

Acting up

November 13, 2010

A close friend is in a play where she is working closely with a male actor who is quite a few years older than she is and has a long-term girlfriend. He routinely sexually harasses her verbally, responding to professional emails inappropriately, and even interrupting a rehearsal. One of the lines includes a reference to how he’d be “in bed,” as their characters are dating. He broke character to tell her that “actually, I’d be great in bed.” She feels uncomfortable going to rehearsals and being in scenes with him. He is unprofessional, and she went to the director about it. The director laughed it off, saying that she was overreacting.

Oh well, guess it’s #HFSF, #OFWF, and #MFIF.
Heather, New York

MFIF get recognition on 50 Best Blogs for Following Women’s Rights Issues

November 7, 2010

We recently came 13 on MastersDegree.net’s 50 Best Blogs for Following Women’s Rights Issues.

That means we came ahead of Bust!

Women submit their stories of being made to feel inferior simply for being female. While not explicitly about women’s rights per se, it does shed some light on the systemic misogyny that allows violations to occur.

Thanks MastersDegree.net!

Ms MFIF

In high school, not shaving is the new leprosy

November 7, 2010

I’m 15, and I recently made the choice to stop shaving my leg and armpit hair. I was hoping at least one person I know would be supportive, especially since I’ve influenced my friends to be a bit more liberal and to stop saying “that’s so gay”

However, all I received was negative comments, except for one of my friends who is okay with. I was repeatedly told it was “gross” and “unnatural”. And one person even told me that “If you want to date a guy, you need to shave. If you want to date a girl, that’s okay then.” To this I replied that I wouldn’t want to date anybody who can’t respect my choices, my guy friend (who asked me out at one point, but it never worked out) pipes in with a “Then I’m not the guy for you.”

To make matters worse, when I asked why it was okay for men to not shave, but not okay for women, the response I got was “because they’re men.” Even after that, when I said “But that’s sexist”, I was told “No, it’s not.”

So, even though I know several feminist women who don’t shave and are in relationships, according to high school students, I’m pretty much going to die alone if I want to date a male(who is allowed to not shave when I “need” to because I’m female)?

I wonder what would happen if it came up that I’m single by choice and pansexual?

I was hoping my generation would be more understanding, but I guess it’s #MFIF

Hairy ‘pits, NY

Colorado Abortion Amendment defeated, anti-abortion candidate loses in same state

November 7, 2010

70% of voters on November 2 voted down the amendment to Colorado’s constitution, which would have made a foetus a person:

Section 32. Person defined. As used in sections 3, 6, and 25 of Article II of the state constitution, the term “person” shall apply to every human being from the beginning of the biological development of that human being.

Ken Buck, wannabe Senator, lost to the moderate Democrat Michael Bennet, in part because of his disregard for women’s rights, and in part because he decided not to prosecute a rapist who himself admitted to the crime.

UPDATE: via AH Ken Buck also stated, before losing:

“Why should you vote for me? Because I do not wear high heels.”

Clearly a woman in pumps wouldn’t be able to handle being a senator.

$10 label

November 7, 2010

When I was still in high school I used to busk to earn money. I usually played my flute outside the local supermarket, and people walking past me would put money in my hat. Most people treated me really well when I was busking, but some people didn’t respect me, they treated me as if I was just begging for money.

One day when I was sixteen years old several teenage boys came out of the supermarket. One of them approached me while I was busking, and the others walked ahead. I expected the guy who was approaching to give me some money or say something nice about my music. Instead he said, “Give you $10 if you kiss me?” His comment caught me off guard & I blushed hard, feeling humiliated. He smiled and said, “Just kidding,” and went to join his mates who were watching and laughing at me. I tried to keep busking but I felt deflated and insecure because of what had happened, so I went home early.

I was a female who was busking (‘begging for money’), therefore it was okay for a guy to make a joke about purchasing me in some way… I guess it’s #MFIF.

Amelia, New Zealand

Porn sells cheap

November 7, 2010

This same brochure from an otherwise good value photo shop arrived in my in box (a friend has posted it on facebook). Every few weeks I get a ‘fashion photography’ email but they have NEVER featured a male model. Can’t quite fit yourself into the position, haircut, heels and red wine? Don’t find it hip or even funny any more? MFIF!

Perdita Phillips

Nutritionist – that’s a cook right?

November 7, 2010

I am a registered dietitian and and work at a hospital. I not only hold a bachelor’s degree, but am a few short months from a master’s degree and several specialty advanced certifications.  I have done research and business as well as acute care and home care.  I was recently discussing the care of a critically ill patient in the hospital regarding feedings with a physician.  As I tried to explain that the current “physician settings” were not recommended but that I could recommend more appropriate settings (explaining the research as to WHY). HE (of course, right?) said “I have a patient who is complaining about his mashed potatoes, do they have salt?”  Shocked by being so rudely interrupted I said “I don’t know, I don’t work in the kitchen,” he was surprised and said “you dont?”.  He said “I thought this nutrition thing was a home-ec type degree women get so that they can still have husbands and babies…”

Ummmm….no.  Its a sceince based degree.  After further explaining that I am neither a nurse (completely different profession) nor a cook, he negelected to further discuss the patient’s care.  This does not even touch on the fact that I dont not only dont have a husband or kids, but want neither for myself.  Well I guess women are only supposed to want to go to school to get husband, end up in “mommy-track” careers and do “home-ec” type degrees working in a kitchen.  #MFIF

Sara


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