Archive for September, 2010

Doctor knows best?

September 30, 2010

I have a pixie haircut. When I was last at the doctor, he asked me, “so, what’s with the short hair?”

Apparently I have to explain my choice of haircut. I’m guessing that he never gets asked that question about his (equally short) hair. #MFIF

Allegra

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No Laptop for the Lazy Stay-at-home Mom

September 30, 2010

The other day one of my husband’s friends wanted to skype with him. Since I frequently skype with my parents on our laptop, Husband asked my help getting skype up and running. I then went to the kitchen to start dinner. From the kitchen I overhear the following exchange:

Friend: So, is that Burnt Cheese’s laptop?

Husband: Yes

Friend: Where’s YOUR laptop?

Husband: I have a desktop.

Friend: But what do you do when you need a laptop for work?

Husband: I borrow one from the office.

Friend: That’s not right, can I talk to you privately?

At this point they turn off skype and go back to regular phones, ostensibly so his friend can complain about how greedy and lazy I am, because how dare I want a piece of technology when “all I do is stay home with the kid”. I have never prevented Husband from using the laptop. He has the password and can access it whenever he wants. We discussed this purchase at length before making it. This is not the first time this “friend” has implied that I’m not a “good wife”. But I guess it’s #MFIF.

Burnt Cheese, USA

We don’t eat; We’re dancers

September 30, 2010

I was working at the reception/box office of a tiny venue that doubled as a dance school. Since I worked alone, I was not allowed a break, so I kept a tiny container of almonds to eat throughout the day. Everyday, there would be a customer, student or parent to tell me a sarcastic “bon appetit” or yell at me because, by eating, I “gave the wrong example to the dancers”.

Once, I told a student’s dad that I didn’t have to follow a diet because I wasn’t a dancer myself. His answer: “yeah, it shows” (I do not have a dancer’s body, but I am far from being fat or even remotely chubby). One day, I have to leave early, and my manager (male, former dancer) replaces me at the desk. He brought his lunch: italian sausages, mashed potatoes, 2 or 3 kinds of salad, and a soft drink. The next day, I ask him if he was given a hard time about his lunch. “No, why do you ask?” I guess I’m not allowed to eat because #MFIF

Sophie, Montreal, Canada

CNN fake seduction

September 30, 2010

This isn’t my story, but you asked about news articles as well… If this mess doesn’t qualify for a HFSF I don’t know what does. Utterly disgusting.

Alumiere

Sartorial Snark

September 30, 2010

This morning, the reality of what I read on this blog touched me in a way I was not prepared for. I work in the service industry under a dress code: solid black. I am a supervisor and so I dress in professional, semi-formal attire. So, my having on a knee-length, empire-waist dress is a common occurrence. Yet, preparing to leave my home for work today, having just changed into my work clothes, as I walked through the kitchen past my roommate of three years, he turned to me and asked: “So, trying to get a promotion today?” Never mind the fact that he’s been employed for less than a year out of the three years we’ve lived together and I’ve been working steadily for the last nine years and only been unemployed four months of that time. If only I’d realized sooner: My experience and work ethic didn’t get me the last two promotions I’ve received in my current position, my ability to put clothes on and leave the house got me promoted! But I guess it’s #MFIF

Siobhan, Oregon

Consumer alienation

September 28, 2010

Ok, so on my college campus I came across this candy bar.

I have never seen anything so openly sexist, so I had to look it up and I found this article. I am really surprised it’s been on the market for so long and that it has received only small amounts of opposition. All I know is that I’m going to put in a complaint at my college store. Hopefully someone will listen, but you know, #MFIF

Meghan, USA

Why do these guys think they have the right?

September 28, 2010

“My friend bet me I couldn’t grab your ass. Can I please grab it? There is money involved.”

Oh MY GOD NO CREEPY DUDE! NO YOU CANNOT GRAB MY ASS!

I look over and seriously find his friends staring at me like I was a medium rare stake au pov. Just 45 min later I am getting humped from behind by some different creepy dude and his friends watching. What the fuck?!? $80 to go see Alice in Chains and Deftones. The show was amazing. Don’t get me wrong…there is nothing wrong with getting humped…but nowhere on my receipt does it have a hidden fee involving sexual harassment. I was getting those stupid looks and comments all fucking night. What the hell happened to treating women with respect? It’s because I don’t have a big boyfriend/husband to protect me from getting molested? Is that it? WHAT THE FUCK.

Has it ever occurred to you guys that I’m someone’s daughter? I’m someone’s sister? I’m a well educated lady?

I guess what really pissed me off is I talked to the guy before he did that. I told him that I paid a ton of money to be here and I don’t care if him and his friends want to mosh. Just stop bumping into me. This is the point when I realized they were intentionally throwing themselves at me and no one else. “You are a lot bigger than I am. Please stop.” Not 60 seconds later I have this 200lb + dude knocking into me and humping me while doing it.

It’s not funny. It’s not cool. It’s not fair. I wish I had a knife. I’d fucking cut your dick off.

And no I don’t hate men. I actually like men. All different kinds of men too. I don’t discriminate. I am a healthy heterosexual American woman. I don’t mind flirting either…but it’s the vulgarity now-a-days that really turn me off to your species. And don’t get me wrong…get a few drinks in me I’m swearing like a sailor, being crass, and unladylike myself. All in good fun. But I’d never reach out and intentionally disrespect someone or objectify them. That’s not how I roll. So what is it with you guys? Just cause I’m wearing a skirt and I look cute that means I’m a slut? Pardon me for being sexually attractive. I won’t do it again. #MFIF

Joanna

Bad service

September 28, 2010

I encountered this story over at the blog Not Always Right, an archive of customer service horror stories that are often laden with sexism:

(It’s 3:30 am, and a hotel guest wanders into the back office that is clearly marked for staff only…)

Guest: “My phone isn’t working. I need to call someone… it’s really important.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You can’t be back here. Please go back into the lobby and I will reset your phone line.”

Guest: *points at a chair* “Can’t I sit here?”

Me: “No. Go back out into the lobby, right now.”

Guest: *sits down* “I came here with a girl and she left me. Now I need to call for another girl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, really, but you can’t sit here. You can’t be back here. Please, go back into the lobby.”

Guest: *gets up* “Sorry. I’m upset.”

Me: “Give me a minute and I’ll reset your phone line and then call your room to see if it goes through.”

(I reset his phone and call his room. He leaves, only to come back 5 minutes later.)

Guest: “It still isn’t working. I’m really unhappy. Do you know where I can get a prostitute?”

Me: “I’m sure if you walk outside on the street and go to the corner you can find one, but you can’t bring her back here.”

Guest: “That isn’t safe.”

Me: “I’m sorry… I can’t help you, sir.”

Guest: “Are you a prostitute?”

Me: “No!”

Guest: “I’ll pay you $160.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not a prostitute, and I’m going to call security.”

Guest: “No, you won’t. You’re a prostitute. How about $280? How much do men normally pay?”

Me: “Do I look like a prostitute? I’m a receptionist. I do paperwork and check people in. I don’t sleep with them.”

Guest: “All of the girls that I know who are receptionists at night are prostitutes.”

Me: “Well, I’m not. Can you please go back to your room?!”

Guest: “I’m from Miami.”

Me: “Good. Can you please go back to your room?”

Guest: “Fine. Tomorrow I’m going to complain about the service here!”

Me: “… because I won’t sleep with you for money?”

Guest: “Will you just come sleep with me? I just need thirty minutes.”

Me: “No.”

Guest: “I’m talking to the manager tomorrow.”

Me: “That’s fine, sir. Good luck…”

(He finally leaves, and I make a note of this encounter. I discover the next day that he was refunded $20 due to my poor service. I have no idea what he told the receptionist when he checked out, but she clearly didn’t read my note!)

#HFSF (and not a prostitute, as most other women are.)

Laying down the law

September 28, 2010

Recently I was reading a blog by a NYC criminal defense lawyer called “Simple Justice.” I am a criminal defense lawyer and usually like his take on issues. I was reading an article about kids who get arrested for fighting at their little league games. The author was lamenting the fact that coaches usually broke these up in the past but now we arrest the kids. Then he says he doesn’t know why the coaches don’t break the fights up anymore, unless it’s because “they don’t want to get their skirts dirty.” I commented quoting that line and asked “Really?” His response was “Really.” I guess I’m a humorless feminist for being pissed at being blind-sided by this needless bit of misogyny in an otherwise great piece, or expecting a better level of discourse than juvenile sexist insults. Oh well, it’s #MFIF.

Mandy, USA

Sorry!

September 27, 2010

Hiatus has been due to workload. More posts tomorrow. MFIF promise.


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