Your Friend, the Street Harasser.

by

One Sunday afternoon, me and two friends were on our way to see a couple of choirs perform at a local church. My male friend was driving and the only other person in the car was female. For reasons I cannot possibly fathom, when we drove past an attractive young girl on the sidewalk, minding her own damn business and not dressed perfectly normally, he saw it necessary to yell “Sexy bitch!” out the window to her.

I was completely dumbstruck, I couldn’t believe that a guy I knew, that I thought was a friendly, reasonably intelligent guy, had just done that. I hate guys that do that with a passion, particularly because often when it happens to me, I’m walking home, alone, at night, and a car full of blokes goes by at top speed, yelling something indistinguishable which may or may not have included the word ‘whore’. It makes me feel scared, and hugely angry.

It has in the past made me break down in tears on the street. Which might sound oversensitive, but I have a real thing about being made to feel weak, or ineffective – which is exactly what those guys do.

I told him as much. His respone “Nah, it’s a compliment, they’re saying you’re hot.”

#MFIF

HR

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8 Responses to “Your Friend, the Street Harasser.”

  1. Merely Academic Says:

    And of course your opinion about how it feels to get these comments doesn’t matter, because you’re female, so what would you know? You’re just overreacting.

    What a douche. At least you now know not to hang out with him in future.

  2. darlingvioletta Says:

    This could have been written by me. I’m actually waiting for a story of my own to be uploaded under the name ‘Ashamed of my Friends’, which covers much the same thing. My friends are intelligent, reasonable men. They are politically sound, well employed and articulate. Yet they think nothing of following women who catch their eye in public places and blatantly looking women up and down or commenting in the street.

    The other day a female friend and I attempted to take the worst offender to task in the pub, explaining that such behaviour can be really upsetting to women, making them feel helpless, objectified and threatened. He honestly didn’t get it. I don’t mean that he was just being an arse and pretending not to get it. He did not comprehend. He initially was very dismissive and ‘Oh yes, i’m sure that if i were gorgeous it would be such a trial to be told this in the street. How terrible to have such good looks that people follow you around like puppies.’ After a lot more work on our part this sarcasm had been replaced by a blank look and a sort of scared repetition of ‘but it’s a compliment’. He didn’t get it and I very much doubt that he’ll be changing his behaviour.

    • desbarates Says:

      Well I would have say that last time I checked “bitch” have a very offensive concoction , but yeah guess they would just not understand, actually some males friends of mine say they would feel proud if females would say stuff like that to them 8/

  3. sz01 Says:

    I completely agree on being made to feel weak and ineffective. I haven’t had this particular thing happen to me, but I’ve had other things and it was being made to feel that way (and also disrespected/degraded) that stuck with me.

  4. jesurgislac Says:

    darlingvio: The other day a female friend and I attempted to take the worst offender to task in the pub, explaining that such behaviour can be really upsetting to women, making them feel helpless, objectified and threatened. He honestly didn’t get it.

    Is he gay/bi? If he’s straight, you may be able to explain to him by analogy: ask him if he likes hanging out in gay bars to get “complimented” by men, and if not, why not? Doesn’t he enjoy getting explicit comments on how men find him sexually attractive and would like to have sex with him?

  5. jesurgislac Says:

    (If he’s gay/bi he’d probably get it already that while it’s flattering to have guys you find attractive flirting with you, that doesn’t mean you feel flattered by every guy in the world shouting sexual come-ons at him.)

  6. Weekly Round Up: August 22, 2010 « Stop Street Harassment! Says:

    […] My Fault, I’m Female, “Your Friend, the Street Harasser“ […]

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