Virgin betting


I went to work at a sandwich shop with my boyfriend back when I was sixteen. My manager was an older man who started hitting on me almost immediately. He never made a direct move, but comments were very common.

One Saturday, I was working alone with the manager and my boyfriend. The manager was tittering over some private joke, and I didn’t pay much attention… until he confided in my boyfriend that he and the manager of another store had a bet going over whether or not I was a virgin.

I was appalled and shaken. What business was it of theirs? What right had they to speculate about MY private life? I was a decent worker, and never inappropriate in a work setting, and that was all that should have mattered to the management.

Before I could react, however, my boyfriend laughed and said, “She isn’t one!”

I don’t think I have ever been so humiliated as having my personal life put on show, not only by a creepy manager but by someone I honestly trusted. But hey, maybe I was being too sensitive to the speculation and invasion of my privacy. After all, it’s #MFIF.



12 Responses to “Virgin betting”

  1. Indigo Says:

    I hope that is ex-boyfriend now.

  2. longanlon Says:

    The “not being virgin” stigma and related shame are a quite interesting issue related to the patriarchal stereotypes in a society.

  3. Alibelle Says:

    Yeah, you should probably dump him.

  4. Kris Says:

    Ew. I can only imagine how that must have felt. 😦 That is so inappropriate from anyone, especially an older male with authority over you at work. I hope it was possible to find another job?

  5. Marie Says:

    Oh my god! I hope you dumped the b***h!

  6. Pavlov's Cat Says:

    Yuk and yuk. Seriously, I just do not understand this kind of behaviour. And I don’t think I want to.

  7. A Different Sam Says:

    That’s fairly blatant sexual harassment, and from a direct superior. Sue him… and dump your idiot boyfriend.

  8. Babaganoush Says:

    I agree with A Different Sam, that’s a solid case for sexual harassment. I would strongly encourage you to confront your boss, if nothing else, but preferably take further action.

    As for your boyfriend, don’t waste anymore time on that low-life.

  9. Princess Rot Says:

    Aah, men. Mutually bonding over jokes about the current sexual status of a woman’s vulva, because that’s the most important thing about you, amirite? Fucking A. Not that I’m bitter because I’ve been there, or anything…

    This, and other things, is why I don’t date anymore. I’m like flypaper for morons.

  10. esmeweatherwax Says:

    WOW. I hope they’re ex-boyfriend and ex-boss now, and he got fucking sued. Disgraceful.

  11. breathofawen Says:

    You have a solid case for sexual harrassment– against both your boss and your boyfriend. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t give him the right to make sexual statements about you at work. To add to that, you’d have to bypass the managers– since you don’t know which other manager was involved in the bet– and go directly to the owner, and then to the labour board.

    But you could file against both of them. I hope you dumped him, at least.

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