Put that back


When I used to work at an arts & crafts store, many people would come in to return things after the Christmas season, which was to be expected. However, on several occasions, I got returns from female customers telling me that their husbands were making them take back the item(s). Grown women being treated like irresponsible children? Well, it’s #TFTF



21 Responses to “Put that back”

  1. SkyHawk Says:

    What. The. Fuck. I really don’t think there is anything else I can think to say here.

  2. GreySkies Says:

    Did you ever consider it’s something to say when taking an item back? I mean when I’m returning things I always feel I need to make up an excuse for why I am returning it, to kind of justify it.

    Pushing the blame on to someone else is a simple guilt free way of doing it.. “He told me to bring it back”

    • Alibelle Says:

      Well then it’s problem that the excuse that they go to is that men can control women enough to force them to take back items that they truly want.

      • IS Says:

        Agreed x 100000000

      • jesurgislac Says:

        Yeah. You’d hope that, whatever the face-saving excuse for returning an item, it wouldn’t be regarded as face-saving for a woman to say “I have no will of my own, I only do my husband’s bidding”.

      • Krischan Says:

        Try to read it this way: they rather blame the absent spouse than admitting an error on their part buying it. Assumption “men are assholes” fulfilled.

      • RandomGuy Says:

        Ehh, I dunno, I’ve heard the same excuse from men, “She told me to take it back.” Could have just been irresponsible buying from the returning partner. (Or even, they’re returning their OWN gift, because the partner didn’t like it.)

    • J Says:

      This is possible. But the way these women would say it, even if it was an excuse and not true, made it sound as if their husbands are like their fathers. I never heard this excuse from male customers. I also never heard male customers say that their wife will get so mad with them for how much they’re spending either. (And yes, even at this crafts store, we’d get quite a bit of male customers.) I’m not the only who noticed either. A coworker around my age noticed it too.
      Maybe I should mention that it’s also a Christian and pretty conservative store? I don’t know. It still made me kinda sad. I would just nod my head, acting like that excuse was perfectly normal (truthful or not).

  3. Kirsten Says:

    Or maybe the women are in a relationship where they discuss and agree things jointly, with both parties making compromises or sacrifices or doing things to please the other person. It’s easy to make judgements about people by seeing one tiny facet of their lives but that doesn’t make it right.

    • Uly Says:

      It still sounds weird and skeevy. Why not say “I overspent” or “It turns out we don’t have the money for this after all” or “I didn’t realize, my husband just picked up his own big purchase so I have to return some of this” or even say NOTHING at all?

    • J Says:

      It’s not as if I just quickly assumed this was a case of sexism after one instance. I’ve considered that a couple could make an agreement not to spend more, but I’ve never heard a single male customer say he’s returning an item because his wife told him or is making him do that. Only women have said this, and they’ve never elaborated on it more. Granted they don’t need to elaborate, but still, there’s been so many instances of this. A coworker noticed this problem too.

      • Krischan Says:

        Try working in a games store / model building store – any store where men shop a little bit more. I’d bet you that the men return things there … just without any comment why:
        Did you consider that men returning items (to these kind of shops) are too proud to admit an error on their part in buying it in the first place? And women do not suffer this kind of ego AND rather put the blame on their spouse?

        (Yeah, I did my part of mis-shopping. But normally in my relationship that is the job of … my mother in law. No more garden gnomes, please 🙂 (and yes, my wife did tell her that) )

  4. yolanda Says:

    I once bought a set of really crappy pots for too much money. My long-term sweety insisted that I return the pots and he’d help me find a better deal. I felt a bit put off but he was very insistent and pointed out good reasons to return the cheap crap. When I got to the store, the owner/clerk insisted that there were no returns, not even the same day, not even in perfect condition properly repacked, not even for store credit. I realized he was from a foreign culture (accent and appearance) in which women are generally subject to men, and so trotted out this excuse, lending it some extra oomph by letting my frustration come out as a wavering voice and watery eyes. I got all my money back for that one! “But my boyfriend said I HAD to get my money back!”

    • Enoon Says:

      Nice casual racism.

      • Alibelle Says:


      • Matt G. Says:

        Nice threadjack/jump to a conclusion.

        She said “foreign culture”. Not “different race”. Culture and race are completely different concepts.

      • yolanda Says:

        No, racism would be to assume someone’s abilities and tendencies, quality and fitness on the basis of assumption of phenotype. Such as assuming that even his great grandsons raised in our culture would inherently retain his paternalistic ideas simply because it was genetic. To think that someone fresh out of an ancient region rife with paternalism is going to cut a woman slack when her man is mad is simply observation.

      • Alibelle Says:

        Actually no, assuming someone who left that region and made no other mention that women should be under the control of men seems pretty racist. At the least, it’s pretty offensive. With no other evidence to suggest that he was sexist, or paternalistic towards women there’s no reason to assume he didn’t leave that area because of those attributes of the original country.

        And why assume that he was fresh out of it? One of my mexican friends hasn’t lived in mexioc since they were pretty young but retains their accent.

  5. tanya Says:

    On the opposite end, I saw a sign at my local yarn shop right above the register: “Your husband called. He said you could get anything you liked.”


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