There to serve


I had a friend who worked as a host at an upscale restaurant. One day a customer (an older man) came in with a large party and she seated them, not knowing that the customer was the owner of a large fancy car dealership in the area. The man thanked her and asked her what her name was. She responded with, “My name is XXX, nice to meet you…” and held out her hand to shake his. The man held out his hand as well, but at the last second reached behind her and grabbed her butt.

Shocked, my friend quickly hurried off. Luckily, one of the waiters had seen the incident and brought her to the manager to report it. The manager went and asked the man to leave. Pretty nice, huh? Well, not until later, when the restaurant realized who the man was and how much money he likely would have spent there. The manager called my friend in and explained to her that it was HER fault that the man grabbed her butt, because the dress she was wearing was “too provocative.”

This was, of course, a dress that my friend had worn to work on dozens of occasions before and had never been told it violated dress code.

California, USA


10 Responses to “There to serve”

  1. Tetsubo Says:

    Sue them. No one *ever* has the right to place a hand on another person without their consent.

  2. Matt G. Says:

    Should’ve called the police and reported the guy for indecent assult.

    And then, called the local news so they can let the public know about the behavior of this pillar of the community.

    Also, this is grounds for a hostile work environment claim against the employer.

  3. snobographer Says:

    Love how they acknowledge the assault and then backtrack and blame the victim when they find out the guy has money. Yeah good luck reporting that. As if the cops would be any more likely to take it seriously.

  4. Kris Says:

    I hate it when wealthy/accomplished men feel entitled to do whatever they want with the women around them. It makes me so angry. >( Any guy that goes around grabbing ladies’ butts is just a horrible person. And not one person in his ‘large’ party would call him out on it? Pathetic.

    The victim-blaming at the end was a nice touch. Obviously it’s your own fault for getting your butt grabbed by some entitled prick…

  5. Rachel Says:


    alas as a guy you probably don’t know this but going to the police just means them askig you if you’re sure it wasn’t your fault for wearing a short dress, and are you sure you didn’t accidentally say “good sir, please grope me” and then telling you it’s no good, it’s too hard to get evidence and a court case’d not be worth persuing. Then they’ll remark to each other that you’re hot enough they’d totally go there/they can’t blame the old man, ha ha, or that you’re not hot enough to get groped so you were probably making it up cause you’re desperate for attention.


    • Matt G. Says:

      You make a valid point. I guess my suggestion only works in an ideal world. I just want vile behavior to have appropriate consequences. On that note, I wish they’d reinstate the death penalty for rapists.

    • Kate Black Says:

      Ah yes, but civil court doesn’t require she interact with the police. (Although filing a report prior generally helps.)

      This is a pretty cut & dry example of sexual assault, though. She could bring suit in criminal or civil court, although most women decide it’s not worth the headaches.

  6. Dude Says:

    She was wearing purple…

  7. Werewolf Within Says:

    Wasn’t there a saying about “Someone who’s nice to you but rude to the server is not a nice person?”

  8. Dude Says:

    I think another poster on this site got fired for being in your position, and ‘not responding appropriately’ when they didn’t just accept the groping. This seems to be an ongoing theme on MFIF. I wonder if there is anything that can be done about it. I don’t supposed most restaurants have security cameras? And contacting a lawyer is probably better than contacting a cop. There are some that don’t charge unless they can get you a settlement.

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