I was 27 and living at home with my father and step-mother. They hired a new neighbor who was a contractor to renovate the house. I go by the generally masculine nickname “Tad” because it suits me and I had used that name for over seven years at that point.

When I introduced myself he informs me that “he couldn’t possibly call me that” and proceeds to call me by a childhood nickname, Susie, that I despise. I told him I was uncomfortable being called that he laughed and said “You’ll get used to it”. One day I was in the kitchen and I overheard him and wife laughing outside about a Susie.

I treated him icily and he asked if there was a problem and I told him I didn’t appreciate the way he treated me and about what I’d overheard and he became upset and he hauled me in front of my father to complain that “I had failed to give him the proper respect he deserved as an older male”. Direct quote. He attempted to apologize for the “misunderstanding” later because his wife told him they had been laughing about a different Susie, but it fell flat as if he would have given me the basic human respect of calling me by the name I go by from the first, there would have been no misunderstanding and he didn’t apologize for saying he deserved my respect for being 12 years older and having a penis. #MFIF.

Susanna (Tad: ), Indiana

9 Responses to “Tadtastic”

  1. Tetsubo Says:

    I give everyone I meet a base level of respect. Over time I decide if they deserve more or less respect. Guess what category this charmer would fall into?

    • Susanna Says:

      I do the same, everyone gets a base level of respect, then they can rise or fall in my esteem depending on their actions and attitudes and such. By the time this fellow and his wife moved out a scant year after they had moved in they had done various things and lost the respect of ALL the neighbors around them before they moved out. When they first moved in they talked about how their old neighbors had turned hateful towards them, which they presented as being for no reason. Our neighbors who didn’t know how disrespectfully he’d treated me had their own tales of how this fellow, who presented himself as a devout conservative Christian, had lost their respect. This fellow is nothing but a grade A tool who thinks his attitude is God ordained:P

  2. Dude Says:

    You’re right Susie, he is a jerk.

  3. JB Says:

    Apparently, some men (though not all) think the ability to pee standing up should make lesser creatures (women) bow down and panties drop faster than you can say ‘go f**k yourself.’

    • Susanna Says:

      Sad but true. Thank goodness for the good fellows out there, and there are a lot of good fellows.

  4. A Different Sam Says:

    The “different Susie” bit probably wasn’t even true; it just sounds like a really bad saving throw by someone who thought that the only problem was this one particular instance of “Susie”. Because all the other times he called you “Susie” and the insane respect demand obviously don’t matter.

    • Susanna Says:

      I wouldn’t be shocked at that at all. I had been having a hard time, I was dealing with health issues, my mom was going through some hardships that weighed on my mind and this fellow and his wife guffawing about “Susie” just rubbed me totally wrong. When he asked me what my problem was (because at that time I was done giving him any respect and it showed) and I told him I’d heard them talking and laughing about me he emphatically denied that he had done anything of the kind and practically accused me of making it up to be hateful to him. I did wonder when he gave the pathetic apology if he hadn’t talked to his wife, realized I was right they had been talking about me and made up the story about “it wasn’t you” to try to “save face”. Either way it wouldn’t have been an issue if he hadn’t insisted that no matter what *I* was comfortable with, he was calling me what he wanted to call me!

      What really topped it off was the reasons he gave for not calling me Tad. First he tried to say since it had come from Tadpole(A nickname I went by backpacking on the AT) that it made him think of frogs and they were ugly and he didn’t want to call me ugly (I happen to think frogs are flipping adorable) so he went to “I don’t want to be overly familiar” which was a complete and total FAIL because the ONLY people I’m okay with calling me Susie are my grandparents and aunts and uncles. Adults who have my deep respect and whom I am very close to who have known me since birth. And to top it off most of them call me Tad because they know that’s what I prefer. The only people who really call me Susie are my grandparents and my eldest Aunts and from them, whom I adore, it’s endearing. So by trying to not be familiar he managed to be way way overly familiar and wasn’t bright enough to realize this irony.

      What really bugged me the most was he had several options. I told him if Tad was completely unacceptable that he could call me my given name, Susanna. He could also have called me Miss or Ms Lastname. But no, he insisted on calling me by a childhood nickname that I retired from general use almost a decade before. Then once he realized I wasn’t going to let him do that he ceased calling me by any name at all, which just made me feel more disrespected.

      It’s been interesting revisiting this event in my past. I’ve heard this fellows business is doing very poorly. I can’t say I’m surprised or sorry to hear that.

  5. BranchMonster Says:

    Would you mind sharing your father’s reaction to this man demanding some form of respect he didn’t deserve from you?

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