Police behaving badly, men behaving worse

by

I was in Cardiff for a rugby match, and had to catch a train back to London that night.the streets were full of people heading for the station so my companion went ahead to the station to queue for the train and I popped into the nearest available shop, which happened to be a fast food joint, to get some bottles of water for the journey.

The place was packed, and there were some men standing behind me. They didn’t seem like genuine fans, and were being massively rude about the winning (home) team. They were shoving and jostling in the queue, and as I kept being shoved towards and banging into thd group in front, I turned around and politely asked them if they would mind not hitting into me, and the group in front turned around and murmured agreement.

They immediately imitated me in a high-pitched mockery of my accent and asked if I was going to “send Daddy and the butler around” if they didn’t stop doing as this pleased. I turned away from them again. and a few seconds later, I felt a hand between my legs, grabbing, tearing a hole in my jeans. I pulled away. “Fat Cunt”, roared one of them.

#MFIF, right?

It got worse.

I fled the shop and approached two (male) police officers and tearfully told them what had happened .
They looked me up and down and asked if I was alone. I told them no, that I was in Cardiff for the day with a friend, and that he was waiting at the station. They advised me to go back to him because he could “look after me”.

At this point I became slightly hysterical and demanded that they follow me to the shop and let me identify these men. They refused, and told me to go on back to my friend, back to London, and forget about it.

It was 4 years ago, and I still haven’t worked up the courage to make a complaint to the Cardiff Police.

#MFIF

Mary, London

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11 Responses to “Police behaving badly, men behaving worse”

  1. Evans Says:

    That’s horrible. Police have NO excuse for refusing to investigate a sexual assault.
    If you ever do make that complaint I hope you have a better experience, but I don’t blame you for not wanting to deal with the same force again after that.

  2. Butterflywings Says:

    That is horrible – not only the animals who sexually assualted you, but the police who failed to do their job and deal with it. That’s the worst part, really – there will always be subhumans around, but the police are supposed to protect people. No wonder women don’t report sexual assaults.
    I don’t blame you for not wanting to make a complaint, either. I hope you’re OK now.

  3. Dude Says:

    Is there a wordpress site for cop stories?

  4. Molly Says:

    At the risk of being called a troll: I sympathized with you until you told us that you neglected to report the officer.
    Grow some balls.

    • Sarah Says:

      Um.. “Grow some balls” on MFIF – irony much?

    • Mary Says:

      Hi Molly,

      My pair (of ovaries) is just fine, thank you.

      Over the years, I’ve composed many letters to Cardiff Police, and torn them up. I can’t explain why, as I’m certainly noisy enough about everything else that irks me. Being sexually assaulted is a very strange thing. I’m sure everyone behaves differently, but I felt like I’d had something taken from me, and every time I write that letter that I’m voluntarily relinquishing control. Writing the post here really helped me. I was so angry about the other police posts I was moved to write immediately, on my iPhone (hence all the errors in the post).

      Incidentally, I subsequently experienced another assault, which i described on the comments on another post here, in which I rang the police immediatey (in London this time) and had a much better experience, but I’m really disappointed that you would comment on my story to tell me to grow a pair. (How secust is THAT?!)

      Can you not see how offensive and upsetting that would be to me and other survivors of sexual violence?

      I really hope that this blog will educate you.

      Mary

    • gwenhwyfaer Says:

      Generally, if you to prefix your comment with “At the risk of being called a troll” you already know you shouldn’t be posting it.

    • blabbermonkeh Says:

      I can only assume you’ve never been sexually assaulted and experienced the awful feeling of demoralisation that so often comes with it. Compounded with the lack of sympathy the OP was offered by those who were supposed to be helping her, is it any wonder she might have felt a tad disinclined towards reporting him?

      It seems extraordinarily unfair to berate a woman who has been through such an unpleasant experience with something so unnecessary.

    • Lorrie Says:

      Sounds like yours isn’t the brand of sympathy a woman wants, Molly. Nice to know you place conditions on your compassion.

  5. Sarah Says:

    Once I witnessed two women being groped on the tube by the same man – I was the only person on the crowded train who bothered to say something. But none of the three of us (myself nor the two women who were groped) even thought to report it to anyone. It’s sad to think we have such little faith in the possiblity of the incident being taken very seriously.

  6. Lottie Says:

    Stuff like this makes me want to carry pointy items in my pockets, but I don’t because it would just make it worse.

    If the police want to reduce knife crime, they could at least make an effort to deal with the causes!

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