Last week it was really warm weather in London, and as I walked with my shopping from Stockwell station, I decided to get out one of the frozen ice lollies I’d bought out of my rucksack and eat on on my way home – it was that hot!
I was feeling great, enjoying the sun, and then three guys in a white van drove by shouting, one of them hanging out of the window and miming certain sexual acts at me. Can a girl not eat an ice cream in peace, now?
And then it hit me how illogical this all is.
1) You just ‘proved your heterosexuality’ by miming sucking a man’s cock.
2) If your cock looks anything like that ice lolly (rectangular, orange) you’re in some serious trouble, mate.
Get yourself to a doctor.