Yes we can?


I wanted to celebrate Obama’s election in 2008. I went out to a victory party that night and was delighted to see people of every imaginable race, gender expression, culture, and sexual orientation dancing together. It felt like everything had changed.

Until he grabbed me by the waist and in my ear said “Grind on me baby,” and started sticking his hands in my pants.

Another woman grabbed me and rescued me, but not before I could be ashamed to need her help, miserable because the festive mood was ruined, and feel guilty because the person who groped me was a black man and he called me a stuck up white bitch as I speedwalked out of the venue.

Either nothing changed after all, or it’s just #MFIF.

LD, Denver, CO


11 Responses to “Yes we can?”

  1. teleen Says:

    Either nothing changed after all, or it’s just #MFIF.

    I’d say that it’s neither – you just happened to come across a jerk! And you have nothing to feel guilty about – he chose to bring race into it after he behaved badly.

  2. kly Says:

    Everything else may have changed, but discrimination on grounds of gender certainly hasn’t.

  3. Mirror Says:

    Haha, right, because OF COURSE if it had been a white man you’d’ve been thrilled to be groped by a stranger.

    Yeah, the racist one there wasn’t you.

    And while it’s not like *everything* has changed, I do think Obama represents major change, and I don’t think one douchecanoe negates that.

  4. Chelsea Says:

    Why would you feel guilty that it was a black man. I sympathise with your horrible experience and everything, but I don’t think you’re being clear. I mean, by all means, correct me if i have the wrong end of the stick, but are you referring to the stereotype that black men are rapists, and therefore ‘nothing has changed’?

    I mean, seriously, I think (and hope) I’ve picked you up wrongly.

    • Matt G. Says:

      I think you’re reading too much into it. The full sentence was “guilty because the person who groped me was a black man and he called me a stuck up white bitch as I speedwalked out of the venue”. So it was the combination of things that made her feel guilty.

      It’s my understanding that victims of sexual assault often feel guilty, as though it was their fault they were assaulted. As though if they had gone along with it, nobody’s feelings would have been hurt. And since she was celebrating the election of a black man, it was as though she had “asked for it” by displaying affection for one black man.

  5. Tubbo Says:

    You shouldn’t feel guilty at all. If this guy is too stupid to know how to approach a woman who isn’t a hooker then that ain’t your fault. And for all you up on those racist soap boxes – why does it always come down to colour with you idiots, a MAN assaulted a WOMAN, made HER feel like a victim by abusing her coz she said No…no wonder your country is in such a bloody mess socially.

    • Meg Says:

      BTWs, this also isn’t the way to approach a woman who is a hooker. It’s not okay to sexually assault anyone, regardless of their profession.

  6. Brittany-Ann Says:

    I’m sorry that your night was ruined, especially such a momentous occasion. It is sad indeed that on the night that the first black man was elected as President of the US, that douche sexually assaulted and harassed you. The race factor certainly makes for an awkward situation.

  7. The Heff Says:

    I am annoyed that Obama hasn’t stopped racisim and sexism.

    • Khraden Says:

      I know this is going to come across as aweful sounding and even sexist maybe, but I really don’t see how he can. It’s kind of like telling a dog to not lick its crotch. The only way to do that would be to put a cone around it’s head. In a human perspective that would be a violation of civil liberties. Some folks won’t change, and change takes time…. Time and cooperation.

  8. Mystery Says:

    I don’t think the original poster’s pointing out the man’s race was racist. She was pointing it out because he felt it necessary to bring HER race into the affair by calling her a stuck up white bitch.

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