Independent = Lesbian, for a change


Last year, I went to a book launch in Cardiff. I didn’t know anyone there, but got chatting to a few of the author’s (female) friends. The conversation went like this:

Them: So you work for the publisher then? In London?
Me: Yes, that’s right – I’m an editor.
Them: So you live in London? Do you live with your husband? Or your boyfriend?
Me: No…
Them: Oh, you share a flat with some friends?
Me: No, I live on my own…
Them: You live on your OWN? In LONDON??
Me: Um, yes, I do…
Them: How old are you?
Me: 27…
Them: 27! And you’re not married! I don’t mean to be rude, but…you’re not *gay* or anything, are you?




12 Responses to “Independent = Lesbian, for a change”

  1. Mrs. This One Says:

    Because a woman could never dream of making a life on her own without a man to support her…

  2. Charlotte Says:

    These people wouldn’t happen to be stuck in the ’50’s would they? This is SO annoying because they would never dare question a man’s sexuality like that, let alone gape in horror at his living alone, in London, on his own.

  3. Siobhan Says:

    Living on youw own does not equal lesbian. These people might be shocked to learn that lesbians occasionally have partners, too, albeit female ones. Or maybe that just doesn’t count.

  4. Tara Says:

    They get married stupidly early in Wales, so dont get offended, having a career and living more then 1 street away from your parents was probably an alien concept to them. they have probably never even met a lesbian and as that fits in with their lack of understanding you must obviously have been one!Ridiculous!xXx

    • Evans Says:

      Hey! Racism isn’t an acceptable defence against sexism.
      I’m a woman from Cardiff. I didn’t get married til 32. I work in southern England. I’m the rule not the exception amongst my friends and family for several generations.
      Those women were out of line, sexist and stupid. But hitting back with that kind of lazy offensive rubbish, which I deal with daily in addition to sexism, it does you no credit.

    • A Different Sam Says:

      Tara, even if what you said were completely accurate, what you wrote basically summarizes to, “Don’t be offended by their sexism, they’re don’t know any better than to be sexist because they’re sexist”. Yes, sexists are sexist who are sexist. We know that. That doesn’t change anything.

  5. Matt G. Says:

    I’m going to put on my rose-colored glasses and assume that they were lesbians and they were trying to hit on you.

  6. Dude Says:

    I laughed at that. Wow! do you mean Cardiff, the capital of whales? You’d think a city of over 1 million that served as the cultural/economic center of the country would be a BIT more forward thinking…

  7. Zee Says:

    Actually, from what I hear, it’s a feat for either gender to live alone in a big city, just due to the cost of living. Props to you for earning enough to have a nice flat in London!

    • Allie Says:

      Ha ha – if only! No, I just value my mental health too much to share a flat with other people, so I spend two-thirds of my salary on rent and scrimp on everything else!

  8. Meghan Says:

    That’s not only horribly sexist, but it also takes a hit at lesbians. As if it’s impossible for them to find a partner in life.

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