In Search of Lost Professionalism


So I’m at a meeting this afternoon talking to our sales team about the marketing of an attractive female star in one of our upcoming DVD releases. There are two females there (including me) and 5 males who are all offering to ‘help’ with the proposed tour. One of the senior guys says to count him out because “I’ll take sloppy seconds, but fifths, sixths or sevenths I won’t go near”.

I’m the only one in the room who glowers instead of guffaws, suspecting they’d never say anything judgmental about a promiscuous male star. I guess I have no sense of humour in thinking this a completely unacceptable statement in the pub, let alone in a business meeting, but must be #MFIF

Not Amused, London


10 Responses to “In Search of Lost Professionalism”

  1. Lynne Says:

    I went to Domino’s to pick up my order. The guy behind the counter, who was young enough to be my son, said, “It isn’t quite ready yet, dear.” As I was thinking of an appropriate response, a man entered the store. The counter guy called out, “I’ll be right with you, sir.” That did it. Why was I “dear” and the man “sir”? I asked the counter guy that very question, and he had no clue why I was upset (or pretended he didn’t).

    • Brooke Says:

      I don’t understand why you were upset, either, really.

      • Kate Says:

        It’s fairly obvious – it was a sexist statement. If sexism angers or hurts you you’re going to be upset by that statement.

      • Erin Says:

        “Dear” is an informal and intimate term not meant to be used by complete strangers. “Sir” is a formal term used by a person who has respect for who they’re talking to. Calling her “dear” reinforces the idea that women are to be pleasant and friendly at all times.

        I don’t understand why you don’t get this.

    • Kris Says:

      I’m with you. I hate hate HATE it when strangers call me “dear” or “sweetheart” (and I used to get it a lot working in retail). It’s so condescending and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. In my mind, it’s never acceptable to assume that a woman likes being called something affectionate by a complete stranger.

  2. Robin Says:

    Would you prefer he called you sir?

    • AH Says:

      My guess is no to the Sir, but yes to a Ma’am.

    • Kerry Says:

      What about not calling her anything Robin? It’s not one or the other you know. But nice attempt at a derail.

      • Khraden Says:

        I do understand how you feel the comment was meant to derail; however I do believe that it would have been out of respect to refer to her as ma’am. Here’s my reasoning. Using Sir or Ma’am, simply denotes that the person saying it recognizes you, and has at least attempted to look up and see who he/she is talking to. Basically, if sir/ma’am was not used, we’d all be faceless creatures with no characteristics. I’m sure that some would prefer it that way, but man or woman, it would simply be a matter of respect.

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